I Don't Know

I have had many rants, discussions, and debates in regards to to theology and my personal faith. These discussions have taken place with people of various backgrounds, upbringings, and religious beliefs. Many of them have brought up many points that I have never considered before and I find myself shrugging and saying "I don't know".

I never think of this as a bad thing but there are those who do. Unfortunately, there are some who believe they have infallible authority in regards to the faith they represent. I am of the opinion this sets the individual up for disaster because there will come a time when he or she will be unable to answer a challenge. A perspective, not yet considered by them, will shake them and instead of admitting a personal lack of knowledge the individual in question will give an inadequate answer.

In all fairness, it is not completely the fault of the person of faith. There is pressure, for sure. There comes a moment that I call an "AH HA!" moment. This occurs when someone is intentionally trying to find flaws in a thought process or belief. When they believe they have found a weakness and make an claim against it they internally exclaim "AH HA! Got you!" No where is this more evident than in the debate among theists, agnostics, and atheists (the political arena is also notorious for this).

No one likes to be put on the spot, however, all egos aside, it is important to acknowledge that sometimes we just don't know. I do not see this as weakness, just an honest assessment of your personal knowledge at the time.

When I was an undergrad student I was in a survey course about the various religions. The professor in question was ordained and one day a student asked him: "What do you think is going to happen when we die?" Without missing a beat he said:

"I don't know, but I am ready to be surprised."

Who is God, Again?

I was reading an article this morning and something caught my eye. It wasn't in the article itself but in the comments. One of comments was a reply in which the commenter said "...God wants you to kill." This stopped me and I held my breath for a moment as the words rattled around in my head. My brain began feverishly searching for verses, teachings, and ideals that relate to God and war. I came to the conclusion that I do not know a heck of a lot about it.

To be honest, my Biblical literacy is embarrassingly low. Then again, I never made the Bible a central aspect of my life. With that said, I believe God, as given to us through the witness testaments of Christ, is a love. As such I would have a very hard time believing that Christ, God, would ever want me to kill anyone. This line of thinking, of course, might have exceptions and I am sure all the atheists out there are preparing their notes as I write this.

My thought on the matter is not as important, however, as the idea that followed after. Who is God? Not just to me, but to you? How about the Muslim four doors down? The Jewish baker downtown? Who is God to you mother, father, sister? I believe He is different to everyone. With this idea you can understand my frustration and anger when I hear people make affirmative statements about what they think God wants us to do!

In the end, for now, it is all broken thought to me. Who is God? Well, I find out a little more with each day. But I believe I need to keep my beliefs in check when I am in conversation to make sure that I do not claim affirmation in regards to something I do not fully understand.

Theology of Now

Snoopy is one of my favorite cartoon characters of all time. There was something about him that just drew me to him as a kid and now I can begin to see why. Snoopy was a character of pure imagination. Throughout the peanuts strip he had an abundance of personas ranging from the World War 1 Flying Ace to Joe Cool to the Masked Marvel! He explored vast territories in his own mind through personal experience and creativity; a skill set I feel many of us could benefit from.

You see, there comes a time when we believe we have it right. The choices we have made in the past have lined up and we are on our way to what we believe is our ultimate destination. I call this the "Theology of Now". That is, we have come to a conclusion that encompasses ourselves, our understanding of God, and the world around us; and it makes sense. Right NOW I know what I want to do. Right NOW I feel I understand God's call. Right NOW I am happy, motivated, and ready to go.

The problem with this state of mind is that it is static in a world that is ever changing. So, for the moment we have it right and so long as everything stays as it should, we will be successful. Then it happens: life gets in the way. Our journey takes an unexpected turn or there is a variable that we have not considered that seemingly ruins it all.

I would like to think of it in another way. Let's say we are driving home and it is pouring rain outside. We are about to turn down the road to get to the house and all of a sudden we get a flat tire. Up until this point we were happy amongst ourselves and making plans about what to do when we get home. Now, all of a sudden, there has been a change and we have two choices. First, we can ignore the tire and continue to drive with our original plans in mind. The problem with this option is that it can cause other damage to the car and it is risky to drive this way. The second choice is to stop and change the tire! The problem with the second option is if we change the tire, that means our plans in the future must be altered!

Too often, I believe, when life suddenly changes we do not stop to change the tire. We become so accustom to our ideas, our "Theology of Now", that we refuse to make a change. Instead, we should be like Snoopy. Have a goal, for sure, however, also be flexible and creative in our lives. We need to be able to adapt and to allow our imagination to play a role in how we live. If something changes, explore it. See what opportunities are there and make adjustments accordingly.

Depression

While I was surfing the internet I came across this quote:

Depression is like a tornado, there’s nothing you can do but sit and wait; and finally when the storm is over you are left with the destruction and the exhaustion from fighting a losing battle. Its consuming. But it does get better, it always does. Have Faith.

I disagree. Depression is like a freight train coming at you. You hear the whistles and feel the rumbling; yet you feel helpless. You feel anchored by things you cannot control. However, once you become liberated through faith and love you are then able to move. You simply step aside and the train goes by.

Discovering our Gifts

Through my life journey so far one of the things that I have spent a great deal of time thinking about is my personal gifts. That is, what are they? How can I use them to sustain a healthy life while giving back to the community that I wish to serve?

The answer that I have settled on is based on personal interest. If you find something that you genuinely enjoy, your gift has been found. Granted, of course, that is not dangerous to yourself or others. Any interest can be turned into a career; stay the course and it can be done. Remember, no one has interests like yours and no one can take those interests and turn them into gifts like you can.

You are unique, so are your gifts, talents, and goals. I do not believe there is anything holding us back, except ourselves.

Pay it Forward

So the adventure begins (actually it has already begun) and I spent this past weekend visiting Wesley Seminary in D.C. During my visit I was scheduled to interview for merit-based financial aide. In all, the visit went very well and the financial aide office has agreed to reward me with a substantial amount of assistance, approximately 2/3 of my tuition will be paid for.

To be honest it is all a bit overwhelming. I have discussed the idea with many of my friends, colleagues and family members the idea of blessings. My common question is "why me?" I have always been puzzled as to why so many great things are happening to me when I feel there are those who are more deserving.

This question, of course, is part of a greater mystery of faith. That is, why things occur the way they do. I have read many different perspectives and have had many discussions, many of which make sense to me. What needs to be remembered, however, is that in the end this is broken thought and beyond our understanding. In the end, the scenario remains the same regardless of our conclusions. Thus, we need to take these blessings and use them to further our Mission.

In the film "Pay it Forward" the main character creates a project for himself in which he does something big for someone he doesn't know. Then, that person will do the same for the next person and so on. I believe this is part of our calling, not only as Christians, but also as people in general. You do not need to believe in Christ, or God for that matter, to take these initiatives and help those less fortunate.

I have been blessed with many things and I want to use this post to remind myself to take these blessings and pass them on. To become a blessing for someone else, to pay it forward.